She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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