Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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