I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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