New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think i have two assholes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
