i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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