I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
