I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
