I want to have your abortion
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
