a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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