if i died would you start the facebook group?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
