He uses pillows to masturbate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
