it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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