Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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