SEEEEXXX PLEASE
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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