I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
