don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
