he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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