did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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