First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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