my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
