plz talk dirty to me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
