I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
