Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
