Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?

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(905): View more from Toronto

I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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(815): View more from Illinois

My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type

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(813): View more from Florida

Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.

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