Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
