a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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