Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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