I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My sheets look like a crime scene.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
