it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do vagina's smell?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
