I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
