ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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