What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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