I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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