I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
