i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
