I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
