guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
