You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
