wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
