He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
