The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
