i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
