I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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