i permit you to call me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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