I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
