Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hippo gnu deer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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