i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
