I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
