if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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