He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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