I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The air was thick with penises
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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