I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
